The Rape Of India

 Outside the locked door of the room in which she is incarcerated, her care-givers posed for happy-happy photos, giving cheerful quotes about their daily devotion to her brittle bones, and how their reward is her grateful smile.

Such sanitised stories don’t matter to the woman. She doesn’t even know these people. She hasn’t known anybody, or anything, after the night of 27 November, 1973, when parts of her brain died and locked-in her broken body to its most basic functions: eat, evacuate. And so she isn’t even aware that her next birthday, 1 June, 2013, will break its own bizarre record.

When Aruna Shanbaug turns 65, she will have been locked in that room for 40 years.

After being sodomised while being strangled with a dog-chain a little after her 25th birthday, largely brain-dead, cortically blind, unable to speak or walk or have control over body movements, Aruna Shanbaug is incurable.

I remember the day well .I had just returned back from a cricket match and had read about the scanty coverage the incident received in the press and the “green horn” Delhi Doordarshan .We were all very agitated but those days it was not “fashionable” to light candle marches .Or to come out into the streets and cause the movement to be hijacked by a group of “lumpen proletariat” in which a constable was beaten to death .What a same –we come out to raise a voice against a animal act and fall prey to the same thing –kill a man who was the only bread winner for his family .And fall into the murderous hands of fake godmen and power hungry “to be politicians”.And this a recurring theme that is happening in India –our movements are being easily hijacked .I wish and pray for Nirbhaya (she is from my hometown Dehradun).And I have been preying for Aruna for the last 40 years .She was engaged to be married –and the man who raped and sodomised has got away with imprisonment and is now married happily .And we have just watched silently .We just move on to the latest that hits a society that is almost sick to death .I hope some of you wont be praying after 40 years .I hope Nirbhaya gets justice .

The problem is in the society we live in and the judicial system .I was watching a young boy being interviewed by –who else but  by Times Now !!-as to what he wanted now that  the government had ordered fast track courts and suspended  some police officers . “I want justice”,he said with anger in his voice .Justice how ,I wondered .Stone the culprits to death ?Like it happens in some theocratic states ?Are we willing to adopt the “Shariat”?Will our women feel more liberated ?Or do we want justice not based on any set laws and trail systems as happens in some dictatorships ?Are we willing to live in a country like that ?Do we want a system like the one we have in America ?But there is no capital punishment there .!!What is it that we want ?Are we clear on it ?

I am quite clear on it .I am sure the anger will die down .It lacks leadership that can sustain it .There are no Moa Tse Tungs and Lenins among the people that gather in India gate .There are these wonderful kids from JNU and Delhi University  some kids from schools .Its a good way to be politically socialized .But I don’t think any change can be be brought about by just gathering ,

When it comes to this specific incident,I don’t think the police did a bad job.There are thousands of buses that ply on the congested and polluted roads of Delhi. A bus that shows no sign of trouble at a reasonable hour at night has no reason to be stopped or inspected; without reasonable suspicion or any hint of trouble. The police cannot be expected to anticipate an incident of this kind given the number of busses plying .And even if for a moment we presume that because the “power” people live in Delhi and we can spend huge amount of taxpayers money on them ,and have as many policemen as the people who have to be protected ,what will happen to lesser mortals who stay in smaller towns and worse still in villagers ?.Do not such cases there merit the same kind of outrage ?Or do the women there belong to some other planet ?. The problem , is a much larger one, and resides in a much more complex social and economic system .

 The problem cannot be defined through the filter of rape alone.Last week’s protests on the streets of Delhi against the despicable gang rape of a young 23-year-old girl were, no doubt, impressive but they missed the point. Rape doesn’t happen because the police permit it or are absent and unable to prevent it. Rape doesn’t happen because politicians don’t want to legislate to make  the law and are insensitive to the victims. Rape doesn’t happen because the courts are slow in meting out justice or the legal process humiliates the victims.  Rape happens because men rape.That’s the key point the protests forgot.Rape happens because Indian men don’t respect women and treat them as play-things. And come on - let’s be educated enough to  face it, it  is a culmination  of the way we bring up our boys  and the way we encourage them to think of women. The fault begins at home. It begins with our mums and dads. In fact, hurtful as it may sound, it begins with Mum!! .

. It further gets cemented  in  the way in which women are viewed and responded to while we go to college and our workplaces . It is the way men look at women .Women are considered as “maal”,and get their bottoms pinched everyday in buses . The apparent harmlessness of 'eve-teasing' that gets taken in one's stride opens the door for an escalating spiral of violence.It is the way women are treated at home –drunk husbands coming late at night demanding sex from their wives .And predictably being refused (how can anyone like to have sex with a drunk man ?),get beaten up .And then being raped by their husbands.(Rape by definition is forcible sex) .As also the way women are displayed in our adds !!You spray “Axe”,and you will have women falling over you .And just look at the women heaving and gyrating their bosoms in item numbers or in songs such as "chunri ke peeche kya hai" .!!And now with the availability of 24 hours porn –women have been reduced to commodities .And that is where the problem lies .Women are viewed as outlets of pleasure .What a tragedy –because women are something so, so much more than that .They represent such wonderful identities –they are a idea behind a form .

Of course there is a issue of policing and the justice system .A majority of the police force is corrupt .And they act like a private army of the rich and powerful .I read a account of a rape victim who was asked horribly embarrassing questions .How many times did he penetrate you ,what was the size ,why were you not wearing underpants ? .And all the time looking at the victim with lewd eyes . “The visual and mental rape in the police station was in no way less than the physical rape” she recounts .The police have to be more educated and refined .

The judicial system is a pain .The quality of public prosecuters is not only pathetic but they  also lack integrity .How can you ever expect to win cases when defaulters  are being defended by lawyers as brilliant as Ram Jethmalani ,Arun Jaitley ,Kapil Sibal etc .?The cases just drag on and on.The rate of conviction is so pathetically low

The expression of anger in cities across is not Nirbhaya specific .It is a bottled up feeling against the politicians ,bureaucrats ,the police ,and the judiciary.It is a culmination of anger against the non resolution of conflicts that are eating into the Indian State.About injustice being done not only to the backwards –but also upper castes in India .About the safety of not only  women in India ,but also the men who walk with them (don’t forget that Nirbhayas friend was brutally beaten and is psychologically being treated because he feels that he could not defend the honour of his friend).It is about parents waiting for their child to come back from college or school safely and not become a victim of a bomb blast .Its about us and them –we who obey passively ,those who lead us into war ,those to whom we pay taxes regularly ,those who manage our foreign policy .Is it worth it ?Is having candle light marches enough ?Are stricter laws and chemical castration enough?Have we not reached a stage when men and women should have easy access to arms so that you can shoot down the damn barbarian ?(I can hear so many howls on that one –I know you all are going to quote America !!)Just think before you answer the question .

The solution lies in your response to it .  
 

Are Our Schools Safe ?

The shootout at  the Sandy Hook School in Connecticut is spine chilling .Being on the other side of the globe one cant even imagine what must have happened in the school .A brilliant young boy, Lanza shot his way in through a locked glass door at the front of the school.He was wearing black military-style gear, including a vest and mask.He  must have walked in with frenzy in his eyes .His target was a sitting rabbit –small children aged between 6 to 10 years .His target was not just to kill and snuff life out –it was to maim and inflict as many wounds as possible .He shot at those lovely children many times and repeatedly-one of them 11 times !! .He also shot dead  the Principal ,and teachers of the school, who had reputations of being child friendly .And he finally shot himself dead .The school had been converted into a massacre ground  .And the target were people who were unarmed and who are perhaps the most docile segment of society–teachers and small children .Why did it happen ?

It is a very complex question to answer .In no way it seems that the young man who was trigger happy had chosen the school deliberately because he had a grievance against it .But there was a school involved and there were schools involved previously also.It  brought to the fore not just the venue ,but also what we teach in shools and how they are managed  .And if we don’t watch out there will be schools targeted in the future as well .

Unfortunately schools have become soft  targets.And this is because of the lopsided priorities we as a society place on schools .Everybody thinks it is their birthright to control schools because they  know more about it than the teachers and the school administration .And that’s because everyone thinks he or she must be more competent than the teachers because they (the teachers ),teach what everyone has learnt , if they went beyond the 12^th Class .So you can teach Physics in school because you passed out from school with Physics as one of your subjects !!And  if you know A,B,C,D,you can teach it –because you know it !!Absolutely ridiculous .Just because you know something does not mean you can teach it .And that is also the reason why some teachers are  better than others-they can teach what they know better than others- not because they know more but because they can TEACH better .I wish society realized this faster than what they do now .There is no mystique about teaching –like law or medicine or engineering .There should be –because teaching is perhaps more difficult than anything else .It pains me when I see parents come to schools and shout down teachers and Principals .It is just a stage before you shoot them down !!When I was the Principal at Jaipur ,there was a criminal and bootlegger who barged into my office along with his henchmen who carried weapons and caught me by my collar and opened his mouth and let out garbage that would make even a very abusive man appear as if he was praying .And he had the support of some powerful people .Can schools be safe when we have parental and social attitude of this kind ?The answer is no.The teachers are the heroes and heroines of any society .And it was a teacher who herded all the small children into a place and told them to be quiet “Be quiet children” she said .And when one of the lovely kids asked her “Why Maam?”, she replied “Because there are some bad people outside.”And when she saw fear in eyes of the kids when they heard the deathly rattle of gunfire she was quick to rise to the occasion “Don’t worry ,very soon the good guys will be coming .Then you can all talk and laugh .But ssshhh……quiet now my little angels”.!! Victoria Soto, a first-grade teacher at Sandy Hook elementary school has been hailed a hero after  hiding her pupils in cabinets, saving all of their lives. The 27-year-old then faced the shooter, Adam Lanza, and told him all of her pupils were in the gym. Lanza turned the gun on the teacher and shot her dead Imagine what the guy who caught and abused me (he was from Bikaner),in full public view would have done in a similar situation .He would have deserted the scene and ran –that’s what rats do when they see danger .No parent has the right to feel that their child is safe in a place where the person who is looking after the child is not treated like a demi God .We must never forget this lesson from the shootout .Schools are like temples -though i admit that all priests may not be the ideal priests .

The future appears grim as long as schools are promoted and funded by the noveau riche .It is no secret that many schools have sprung up in India which belong to property dealers who have huge amounts of money that can be siphoned off to educational sector because one gets  tax rebates.Since schools guarantee good connections in political circles and since there is always a mismatch between supply and demand  ,schools seldom run into losses .And most importantly schools are not prone to  cycles of recession and depression.

A logical corollary of all this is the fact that schools are  in a tight  grip of these “property wheeler dealers”.And they are often linked with people who have a criminal background . The land –politician-educational mafia is a strong one .Recently the owner of one of Delhis most high profile schools was shot dead because of a rivalry.Weak principals just become tools in the hands of these “disguished and distinguished ”  educational “samaaj sewak” criminals .And strong Principals are a anti theisis to the vision with which they create schools .More often than not ,uneducated wives of these property dealers/politicians , become the face of the school  and  run into confrontation with decent yet strong Principals who have to exit .

Unless educationists own schools and run them freely –the future of education is doomed in India .But educationists don’t have that kind of money .However ,I would hasten to add here that not all schools are like the ones I have described above .I have been fortunate to work in schools like DPS Jaipur and DPS Ahmedabad which are top class schools with very visionary managements .But then schools like these are in a hopeless minority .

What Principals must ensure and implement are security safeguards .If someone has to enter a school and has to pass through a system of frisking –then he/she must do .Even if you are a Sharukh Khan .If Airports can ensure that –so must schools .Principals must not stoop to conquer –they must stand up and realize that they are the custodians not so much of their own future –but of the children under their control and guidance .They must make sure that the bad elements don’t get into and start dominating the school culture .Drugs and arms must never be allowed into schools (a few years back a student brought a weapon and shot  dead another student in Gurgaon).Their job is like that of a soldier –their first duty is to defend the small kids .Their weapons are not those of a soldier ,but their weapons must be a strong mind that is wise ,and and which is fearless .

Given the background of the state of schooling –are children safe in India ?Yes –in the good ones ,they are safe .They are safe in schools like ours where we have safety measures  ,with a number of closed circuit T.V.cameras in place .They are safe in schools like ours where every visitor is screened and we have disaster management drills in place .They are safe in schools like ours which are run by educationists whose motive is to give opportunity to children to grasp the technology and knowledge which is waiting to be eaten into .

But I am not too sure about many other schools .I hope they wake up .Because we don’t want lovely 6 year olds going prematurely to paradise .They have a right to at least outlive us .  

What Life Has Taught Me So Far.!!

When I look back at life I often wonder what I learnt from my failures  .Did I take them consciously as failures or did they affect me subconsciously ?Did I work hard to overcome them? Or did I just ride with my destiny ?And in the end ,am I happy where I am ?

The answer to all the questions is “yes”.  Yes ,I did learn from my failures .Yes I did know that I had failed in some of the things I tried .Yes ,I was disappointed with my failures .And Yes ,I am very happy as of now .

I was born into a wealthy family and went to one of  the best schools, St Josesphs Academy, in Dehradun(my hometown), and colleges-Hansraj College  (in Delhi University) .I did the course I wanted to do –History Hons .I wanted to get into the IAS like my brother and brother in law .I failed .I tried teaching in one of the best colleges in North India .Could not get along with my Principal who thought he was giving me unemployment dole .I resigned .I was unemployed for a long period of time –nearly 2 years .(Imagine how someone who had studied in a terrific school ,and who was its Headboy and ace cricketer, and then went on to top his college in second year and Captain its cricket team ,as well as make a mark for himself in debating ,and was popular with the girls in his Univ days must have felt ).

That was the time that I sat down to consciously reflect and learn from what failures did to me .All of a sudden it dawned on me that its no use blaming anyone for anything .I did not rebel against God for having snatched my parents before I had left school .There was no point .It was something that could not be reversed .There was no point in blaming the UPSC for my failure to  clear the exams .I just did not have it in me to sit for hours on end preparing notes and then reproducing them to score marks .I was just not made that way .There was no way I could clear the State Bank Of Indias Probationary Officers Exam because my numeracy skills were not good enough .I could never have been happy as a banker even if I had cleared the exam .There was no point of teaching in a college in which no one applied for history as a subject for graduation .

Teaching girls at a special school in Dehradun.

I realized that blaming someone also has a “expiry” date .You can blame someone for sometime ,but that is not going to take you forward .One has to get out of this “sinking sand”,or “whirlpool” quickly .Otherwise it will consume you .That was the great lesson that I learnt from life at a early age .One is responsible for everything that one does .Do not blame others .

The second thing I learnt from life is that your true friends will NOT desert you when you have nothing .Thats because they realize what you are worth .In life one goes through ups and downs .There will always be people who will crowd around you because they can “use” you .But once your utility is gone –they will dump you .Its a lesson that must be learnt very fast –otherwise you are going to be disappointed very often .I learnt that I must not lean on people to the extent that they become my need .When I was the Principal in a very good school near Lucknow ,my Secretary there used to be all over me –sending me cards ,making mutton curry and sending it to me ,trying to give me gifts etc .And very cleverly try to get benefits for himself –a typical “mover and shaker”.The moment I left ,he started lobbying  by saying all kinds of things against me ,with my successor who incidentally was a great friend of mine .I was not dissappointed at all .He always had a personality like that .And when I fell ill and almost died ,there were people who came to meet my wife reassuring her that they would not leave till I was not out of the ICU.There was a friend of mine who made his way from Karnal with lakhs of rupees with him and telling Sangeeta "I know you have enough ,but here is the money so that you dont have to ask anyone or go to the banks or ATMs to withdraw .It will save you time ".And along came another friend of mine from Panipat -Vinod Sharma ,the Principal of DPS Panipat with another stack of notes .What  wonderful gestures .Imagine their  thought processes .P.C .Gupta , Vinoo -i will never forget your amazing gesture. .Success and failure taught me how to differentiate between the chaff and the grain .

And Principals at the IIM Ahmedabad .!!

Failure also taught me to believe in destiny .It propelled  me into the  field of school teaching which I had never thought of going into .Once I started to teach ,I realized how good I was at it .Failure taught me and took me to my strenght –teaching in a school .It also made me realize how hard I could work .I used to work through the day (I was teaching in a residential school)and used to sit up till early hours of the morning preparing notes and worksheets .I realized I was like a star .!!Or at least that’s what the kids made me feel .And there was no looking back .

The going has been great in the school profession .It has got me awards ,taken me around the world .I have rubbed shoulders with the high and mighty and realized that they are not really great people –they have different skills .They would make lousy teachers !!Life has taught me that one must play to ones skills .There is no point in trying to be like Amitabh Bacchhan or Lata Mangeshkar if you cant act or sing .Also ,that there is no reason to believe that they are happier than me .So be happy at what you are good at –even if you can cobble shoes .The problem will arise when you try to be like someone else without having those skills .A rabbit must skip and a tortoise must swin .If they interchange their roles –both will fail .

In many ways ,people from my generation have had to make the most changes .We had to adapt to the technology that has the world in its grip .Todays generation are by default “wired” to the flat screen TVs ,the cell phones ,the Iphone and the IPad,Twitter ,Google ,Skype,the touch screen and flutter technology ,Internet Banking ,and Internet Bookings .We were not born into any of these .We have had to delearn and relearn .!!Which is always a more difficult thing to do .The fact that we have been able to do it and that too in style ,makes someone like me very proud .And that is something that success and failure taught me –love and respect myself .Look for success in things apart from just how much money you earn or what designation is hung outside your office wall .Have you learnt from your experiences ?Are you healthy?Do people love you ?Do people trust you ?If the answer to the above questions is yes –then you are a success .!!And you are sure to live a good life –even though it may not be a long life .But living a good life is more important than living a bad long life.!! As Seneca the great Roman philosopher had written

“In life ,as in a book ,its is not how long it is .It is how good it is “. That is the definition for success for me .

"For Me It Was Not A Matter Of Survival -It Was A Matter Of Identity."

There was a flurry of activity at the Natarani Darpana Academy .The evening promised to be a  exciting one –a string of distinguished speakers from fields as diverse as travel ,economics, dangers of sharing information on social networking sites,and farming, had gathered  to speak on the theme “Explore ,Innovate ,Create …..The Future” .We (Sangeeta ,Pratique and myself ),took our seats in the fabulous open air theatre of the Darpan Academy .The sun had set ,there was a breeze which floated around and was cool and fresh .Soon the thetre was packed to the rafters as they say .The speakers started trickling in .Sanjana Kapoor made every head turn as she breezed down the steps and took her seat just in front of us .She looked around her immediate surroundings ,caught us with her eye ,smiled and said hello .She has a amazing personality –tall ,well built and extremely pretty .She was draped in a black saree and looked very inquisitive .Suddenly someone else came (she was escorted of course ),and sat down next to Sanjana .They both exchanged pleasantries and they both delved into their paper sheets they were carrying .Apparently these sheets were containing matter on what they were going to speak .The other lady looked very different .She had features  like a male (a sharp jawline ,broad on the chest and a voice that was'nt very feminine ).But she wore a saree .She had curly shoulder length hair ,and did not have a single facial hair .She was as fair as a foreigner .

She was Shreya Lalwani .

Shreya Lalwani with photographs of her as a young boyin the background 

I was seated directly behind her .And what unfolded was a amazing tale .Straight from the horses mouth as they say .

It is difficult to describe someone who was born a male with a womans mind .It is almost impossible to get a peep into the persons  mind that is craving to be a woman in a male body. “He was very handsome ,he was very brave .He was very intelligent”, she said ,looking into the open skies as she delivered her lecture .

“But I made sure and kept telling him to become what I was.For me ,it was not a matter of gender or sexuality .For me ,it was a matter of identity.”There was a pause as she reflected . “He was born into a wealthy family .He was a cute little boy .He always wanted to be with the boys .He was attracted to them”,she said . “But he was torn into becoming what he actually was –a girl .Nobody seemed to understand that .He went to college where he stood first .He used to go into bouts of depression.And then,one day his parents decided to get him married”.

She paused again.

“That night ,I did not let him sleep.He tried to make me understand”,and then after a small chuckle,said “I gave him no respite .I kept telling him to free me from his body .I was trapped in his form –though I tried to dominate his mind.He could not bear the agony any longer .He decided to commit suicide .He failed in the attempt”.

But it made  Shreyas parents realize that it was better to have a daughter alive, rather than a son dead .They relented. Shreya would go in for a operation for a realignment surgery.Shreya had what is termed “Gender Identity Disorder”

The genetic sex of a child is determined at conception. The mother's egg cell (ovum) contains an X chromosome, while the father's sperm cell contains either an X or a Y chromosome. These X and Y chromosomes determine the child's genetic sex.

Normally, an infant inherits one pair of sex chromosomes -- one X from the mother and one X or one Y from the father. The father "determines" the genetic sex of the child. A baby who inherits the X chromosome from the father is a genetic female (two X chromosomes). A baby who inherits the Y chromosome from the father is a genetic male (one X and one Y chromosome). The male and female reproductive organs and genitals both come from the same tissue in the feotus.(very simplistically put)

If the process that causes this feotal tissue to become "male" or "female" is disrupted, ambiguous genitalia can develop. The genitalia makes it difficult to easily identify the infant as male or female. The extent of the ambiguity varies. In very rare instances, the physical appearance may be as fully developed as the opposite of the genetic sex.

  Gender identity disorder is a conflict between a person's physical gender and the gender he or she identifies with. For example, a person identified as a boy may actually feel and act like a girl. The person is very uncomfortable with the gender they were born with.It was this conflict that Shreya (born as Suresh a male )kept talking about .She kept referring to herself before she underwent surgery as “him”.The time to end this “dual”,role had come .She was to undergo surgery at the Kokilaben Ambani Hospital at Mumbai .

However  before that ,she had to have harmone replacement therapy for a year .She also had to undergo counselling for the same length of time .

“It was difficult to convince Suresh .I could understand his plight .He had to part with his masculine form .But he was very unselfish”,and she stopped for a while .She was choking up .Not a sound could be heard except the ruffling of the leaves of a tree that  under which we sat .

“He asked for his sperms to be preserved”,she continued .She cant bear children ,but wants to have her former self (Suresh),child through surrogacy .Before she entered the operation theatre she sent a email to all her friends , “I have a female brain in a fertile man’s body. I can change my body but not my mind.”

 Finally on 16 March 2012 ,Shreya was born .

She looked at the crowd .“A surgeons knife set me free .I am only 8 months old .Please let me come to terms with myself .I have so much to learn as yet”.

We all spontaneously clapped .We could understand her  agony and  ecstacy .

Her hormonal treatment will continue for a minimum period of 8 years and maybe for life .At 27 years of age she is a Professor at the Tolani Institute of Business Management at Gandhidham .Her college has been very supportive of her and have also pitched in with finance for her operation .

But one can only guess as to what must be going on in her mind .One cant even imagine what it must be to live two lives in one human form .There must have been a  great conflict between “me” and “him”.It must have been a  see saw battle which must be like climbing the Everest  everyday and then slipping down the slopes and then taking on the challenge of climbing again .Day in, day out ,minute by minute .

She waited for the applause to subside .She wiped a tear which had dared to roll down from her left eyeball .

“Why did I do all this”?,she asked .And after a pregnant silence , answered

“Because for me ,it was not a matter of survival .For me ,it was a matter of identity .I wanted to be who I was and am .”!!

We all stood up to applaud a remarkable human being .Once again ,within the space of 3 hours ,someone else had taught me a lesson –if you have the guts ,you can get anything you want .

Are you all gutsy enough ?!!

   

Kulbhushan Kain's Blog: "Maanaa Andheraa ghanaa thaa,Diya jalaana to manaa...

Kulbhushan Kain's Blog: "Maanaa Andheraa ghanaa thaa,Diya jalaana to manaa...: The beauty of life is not in the opportunities it gives you to prove who you are . It neither can be reduced to a balance sheet of your h...

"Maanaa Andheraa ghanaa thaa,Diya jalaana to manaa nahi thaaa"

The beauty of life is not in the opportunities it gives you to prove who you are . It neither can be reduced to a balance sheet of your happiness and sadness .The beauty of life is its unpredictability .Its capacity to prove to you time and again as to how little you know about your exixtence and also how little you know from where you came and where you are going to go .Some of us take the easy way of saying “Well no one knows about these things .And its futile to try and understand these philosophies .After all what did Aristotle ,Vivekanand ,and countless others do ?They all bit the dust”.So chill out !!Just groove to the music of life .

By and large it is true .I have had very little time to philosophise about life .I was too caught up by early tragedies ,then a  tempestuous love affair ,then work ,work and work .At times the work bored me .At times it exhillarated me .At most times I felt I did work which was good and productive .At times ,I had to cope with a dumb witted boss who knew nothing about anything (leave aside education),and at times I worked with persons who were streets ahead of me .I worked with colleagues who were mostly average in their perceptions to the larger picture of life ,capacity to work hard and take risks.I accepted their false and true opinions with grace .I have seldom made a mistake in understanding a persons mind .I can see through their “apparent”,and get to the “real”.The result –I have never felt let down.No one lets you down -you let yourself down by choosing the wrong friends and colleagues at work .(Please touch wood for my sake!)But I have had this fear of the unknown .I don’t know what is going to happen in the next 5 minutes as I write .I am acutely aware of my moments .I don’t waste them without giving thought to them .And life continues to surpise me .

Nirmal Kumar -way to go !!

I realized how small I was when I was invited to a function organized by the CALOREX FOUNDATION which had as its theme “Explore,Innovate ,Create ……….THE FUTURE”.There were a galaxy of stars and celebrities who had descended to the Natarani Darpan Academy (run by the Sarabhais of the Vikram ,Mrinalini ,and Mallika Sarabhai fame).Some of them looked so ordinary that one would never notice them in a crowd of even 50 people .But they were amazing minds and absolutely out of the ordinary .There was the physically challenged Nirmal Kumar ,who is a IIM Ahmedabad alumini.He resisted the tempatation of a 7 figure salary because he said he felt that the autorickshaw charged him 10 rupees extra when he was a student at IIM . “I had paid 25 rupees on my way to the Pride Hotel.But on my way back ,the auto driver asked me for 35 rupees.I argued ,and soon realized that there was a problem in the system .I tried to go to the roots of it .And after some time came up with the concept of G-Auto”.For all of you who haven’t heard of it ,G-Auto is the most trusted form of autorickshaw in Gujerat,because  no one needs to bargain.Everything is systemized ,complaints are atttended to and rectified.There are different autos for different purposes  -there are heritage autos which have a fixed rate to show you the heritage sites ,there are airport autos in which the autorickshaw drivers can speak in English .There are 10000 autos under the brand of G-AUTOS.And very soon ,Nirmal is targeting 50000.!Simply amazing guy .He is short and he is ungainly .But as precious to our society as a diamond .Probably one of the reasons that makes Ahmedabad a safe city –its autos are safe .And the credit must go to Nirmal for that .

He has a amazing background  There was no electricity, telephone lines or hospitals in Nirmals home village of Risuara in Siwan district of Bihar  . Nirmal's high school was three kilometres away from his village, which he covered on foot with a back affected by polio.
" When you are born in a place with little means, you learn to rely on yourself for everything. You become a fighter," he shares. 
 Nirmal was struck by polio at the age of three -- but could not be treated in time as there were no hospitals in his village, only 'quacks'. However , it never stopped him from playing football in school or taking the cows through the rice fields.

With unsteady fingers, Nirmal learnt how to hold the pencil, firm his grip, and read and write. In the evenings, he would clean up the lantern shade with a dry piece of cloth, oil the wicker, light it, and in its glow dream of a better life. "Lagan bahut thi." ['I was very dedicated.'].I am reminded of Ataljis poem “Maanaa ,andheraa bahut ghanaa thaa ,magar diya jalanaa to manaa nahi thaa”!!
He won the National Talent Scholarship and decided to pursue a BTech in agriculture. While he was relieved to have won the scholarship, the paltry sum of Rs 800 a month wasn't enough, so he gave math tuitions. "I have never been afraid of hard work," he says.

Perhaps that's why he gets impatient when his sales team complains about not getting a client. "I ask them how I, without political links or monetary support, could get ONGC, Reliance and the State Bank of India on board? Weak people make excuses."

That's why he wasn't surprised when he wrote to Gujarat chief minister Narendra Modi for an appointment to discuss his future venture, and he actually got one. Fifteen minutes stretched into 50 minutes, and Modi agreed to inaugurate G Auto. Nirmal thanks his parents, or rather his entire village for making him the way he is. "Not once I was made to feel that I was handicapped," he shares

A star had been born .I am so surprised that people with everything do so little .Its people with very little who perhaps make the greatest contribution .But the beauty of life is making us change our priorities ,our mindsets and our perceptions .Thats why it is important to come across people like Nirmal Kumar .!!

(If you want any proof of his efficient system just ring up 9274444444.You will get a immediate response from G –Auto .And then try to ring up the SBI !!)

Next blog –“I am only 9 months old”.I was staring at a form that looked like it was 30 years old .(Don’t miss the next blog .Another amazing human being .!!)

London ,Paris ,New York -And Delhi !!

A boy who reads my blogs  regularly asked me while I was on a round of the school

“Sir you have travelled a lot .I have read your blogs on London and Paris . You have just returned from New York .Which of the three cities  is the best ,according to you?”.

It was a tough question and quite simple to answer it by over intellectualizing it .So I replied

“It’s a bit like asking me –who do you like more –your Mom or your Dad?You know each of them have their strengths ,and each of them contribute to our living and growing up .So you cant say that your Mom is better than your Dad or vice versa”!!.I was not only trying to be clever ,but honest as well .But children these days don’t want half baked cookies .

“OK Sir ,let me put it this way .I like my Mom more than my Dad !Or let me put it in yet another way –I am being asked to go to one of the three cities for my holidays .Which one would you suggest?

The skyline of New York .

That set me thinking .The cat was finally among the pigeons .Now I could not get away .

“London is out as a first choice .Its a bit crowded ,in many ways like a Indian city .Piccaddilly Circus is a madhouse ,people jostling with one another for space .Oxford Street is a much hyped about street ,Cannaght Place in Delhi is better, and there are too many people at the London eye as well at St Pauls Cathedral .Parts of London will remind you of Khan Market in the evenings or South Extension .England is beautiful –but for that you have to get out into the Midland ,Wales ,Scotland or Ireland .But London –no ,if the choice was between the 3 cities you have named .But go to it if you want great Indian food and if you want to speak in Hindi ,Punjabi or Urdu.Go to it if you are prone to get bouts of homesickness .Or if you like fish and beer.You will enjoy the pub culture .They(the pubs) are noisy and get noisier as the  pints keep going into your belly first and then into your head  .!!”

He looked at me .I continued .

“Paris is a beautiful city .The people in Paris are terrific looking .The women are well heeled and the men are formally dressed for no reason at all .You wont find many Indian restaurants and you will feel ill at ease when you want to ask questions –they speak a lot of French and even if they know English ,may try to feign that they cant understand .Better to ask a question in Hindi and pretend desperately that you are searching for  a English word ,and you will get a response .!!But it’s a lovely place to sit out and sip wine nearly on the road and eat croissants  at a Pattisserie .!!Or a slice of Pizza .Its clean ,less congested than London and has some fine sights –The Eiffel Tower and  the Notre Dam .Amazingly lit up at night .A naughty city .!!As if waiting to rebel all the time .No wonder it was the home to so many revolutions and a strong labour movement .”

“So that leaves New York as your first choice”,he asked .

“Yes ,in a sense it is  .It is very crowded but it is a city with a lot of vibrancy .And it’s a city in which people would not care who the hell is doing what . You can pop out of the Underworld in Central Park, hail a taxi, head down Fifth Avenue with a giant hellhound loping behind you, and nobody even looks at you .!!Funny isn’t ?Its a city in which you can see who you are ,and know who you are because you feel so free that you don’t have to put on a act .Its a city in which you can have a fabulous hamburger /hot dog with mustard sauce for just 2 dollars .Its a city in which you feel like wearing sunshades at 2 am (not pm!!),at Times Square because the neon lights and hoardings are so bright .Its a city in which you can see a youth standing in the smallest of underpants in biting cold –showing off his assets .Its a truly amazing city in which the skyscrapers that kiss the sky ,enclose within them some wonderful parks –Bryant and Central Parks .Its a city that does not tire you –no matter how much and how long you walk”.I looked at him .I asked him “When are you going to New York”?.

He looked back at me and said “Not too sure ,but maybe in May 2013”.

“Lets meet up in New York then ,because we are going to be there anyways in the summers ”.

Yes ,New York has something to it which few cities have .

Would I like to live there forever?
 No. Because India  is my home. Delhi  is my second  home.If I have to spend a year living in an unfamiliar city, New York is  a pretty lovely one to spend it  in, but I will be going homat the end of it, certainly.You know –the difference between a mistress and a wife .!!