Emotions -Should They Be Displayed Publicly ?

I heard PM Modi yesterday with rapt attention .And when Marc Zuckenberg asked him about his mother ,the PM was first stunned into silence ,then choked up ,his voice crackled and he cried .Its not the first time that I had seen him like that .In his first speech at the Central Hall of Parliament he had broken down . I have seen very macho men weep like kids –remember Kapil Dev in a interview with Karan Thapar? 
We have all heard it before “You are too emotional! Don’t behave like a woman or a girl ” Surely you heard it at least once in your life . But, what does it mean? Is it a normal quality to have ?
Yes . emotions are necessary. Imagine a life without it. No love, no families based on that love, no compassion, no empathy, no righteous anger. What would be left? A life of relating to others as objects, like chairs or tables, their only value in utility — the function that they perform.?!!
Emotions bind us to others, plays a part in letting us know when we have been injured, allows for the possibility of good passionate relationships and a joy in living. It also creates an energy that is necessary for self-defense and for the pursuit of causes.
But, when you are called “too emotional,” the accuser usually means that you are too easily hurt. And, when you are young, especially if you are male, you are encouraged to “be a man” . If you are hurt, in other words, rub some dirt on the injury and get back into the game. Don’t complain; that is for whiners and wimps and little kids.But I don’t agree with that .Personally ,I wear my emotions on my sleeve .I show my love and I show my dislikes .If I am passionate about someone –I will make sure I will show it in private as well as in public.Because I cant and don’t want to hold back . I give them their place in things and don’t keep them all bottled-up, looking for a way to burst out of the container that I would otherwise have put them in. And, when it is required, I am prepared to seek solace from a few of those closest to me, just as I give solace to my friends and those I love.
True, being emotionally vulnerable means that you can be injured. But, don’t fool yourself, life will have its way with you whether you are deadened to feelings or not. By killing your emotions, you are probably only succeeding in limiting the fullness of your life while attempting to create an illusion of strength.
Put another way, it is only human to have emotions and best if you are comfortable with that fact almost all the time.
I loved the display of emotions by our Prime Minister .I like people who have the courage to cry and shout in public !!! .Because I am a bit like that .Ask my son ,my wife and my wonderful friends .!!

Support Modi -But Not Blindly !!

As expected ,there has been criticism of the PMs speech .Nothing unusual –and I am glad that there are opponents who keep him on his toes .We obviously need to be alert –all the more since Modi can sway the masses with his great oratorical skills .He plays to the gallery .He snaps his fingers ,he spreads his arms ,he becomes emotional , he exploits his “chai wallah” background ( how are you Mani Shankar Aiyyar ?) ,he lowers his voice to a whisper and trails off !! He wears good clothes .His effect is blinding –as one can see with the response he gets – frenzied crowds -,some crying ,others dancing ,all clapping and chanting “ Modi ,Modi”.
There is a reason for this frenzy .The previous government left everyone disappointed .Scam after after hit it ,and the PM looked so helpless .There was a National Advisory Council ( a bunch of retired bureaucrats, NGO beneficiaries and politicians ),who actually ran the government from 10 Janpath .It was pathetic .I am re reading the fabulous book “ The Last Moghul” written by William Dalrymple .The picture Dalrymple paints of Bahadur Shah Zafar , reminds of MMS .Old ,infirm ,helpless ,and allowing others to eat into his powers .

But power abhors vacuum .With the fall of Man Mohan Singh ,Modi stepped him .With the qualities I listed above .But here is the catch –we musnt let him do what Hitler did to Germany after the First World War .There was vacuum in Germany as well.The President was Hindenberg who came to power at the age of 78 .He kept catipulating to Hitlers demands and finally Hitler became what he did .Hindenberg refused to take risks and swore to the tenets of the German Constitution which was running a government which abided by the humiliating treaty of Versailles .

We must keep Modi on his toes .Oherwise he may outreach himself like Hitler was allowed to .However criticizing him for everything he does is uncalled for .I see the future of India in “Digital India”. I saw some people criticizing it saying that the poor has got nothing to do with it .And that Google and Microsoft will milk India .No –let them criticize .People laughed when Kennedy said that America would land a man on moon !! We also must think ahead .Every village must have high speed internet connectivity .Every child must have computers and through it ,access to knowledge .What else can one do when there are no schools ? We must evolve systems that evaluate a child through the internet .We can t go on with schools having boundaries and classrooms .For every child admitted ,there are 200 parents staring at a notice saying “ Sorry we are full” .Have you ever accessed the net and seen a notice saying “ Sorry ,you are in the queue” .

Therein lies the answer .Lets tap into something which is limitless and has no boundaries .Lets keep Modi on his toes and support his vision of at least a digital India .Call it theatrics ,call it hard selling himself ,call it “dramabaazi” ,call him a “pheku”. Whatever ,lets exploit his great strength and that is –he is making sure that India is being seen and heard by people who matter .!!

India ,China and Pakistan -The Power Push For Supremacy .

All Indians interested in politics watch the way how the 3 nations of Asia – India ,China and Pakistan behave and how they are received on the world scene .All of them are nuclear power so military sizes don’t really matter in case of a serious war .To that extent ,Pakistan gets a look in !! But its like looking into a slum .They are in a bad shape and don’t want to get out of the hole they have fallen into.As Hillary Clinton famously said “ They are encouraging snakes in their backyard” The snakes have started to bite –unfortunately even school girls ,schoolboys and teachers !! .Good luck to them .
China is a different ball game altogeather .I am not a foreign policy expert but have studied Chinese History from the 19th Century onwards .It is a far more dangerous threat to India than is Pakistan, and as such has to be balanced with American support .Hence when the Chinese President Mr Xi Jinping went to America ,I followed him with great interest .He is a smart man . Shrewd and clever –and never to be trusted .The Western-suited Mr Xi, with his glamorous wife in tow went about trying to create a favourable impression by talking about his bookshelves stuffed with Mark Twain and Thomas Paine.( who said Chinese only read Marx and Mao?!!!) He also tried to bring in a personal touch by recounting how he had gone to a bar in Cuba ,which was frequented by Ernest Hemingway and had a mojito !! Of course our Prime Minister is far removed from bars .He is most un American favouring Indian clothes, celibate, teetotaller, vegetarian and with a disputed political history that, a decade ago, meant he was refused an American visa.Add to it the fact that Indias economy is no where near Chinas .China is a true superpower .

But wait .!! In the contest for popularity in America our PM from a humble home in Vadnagar and who sold tea in a tea stall( if you don’t believe me ask Mani Shankar Aiyyar ), is beating Mr Xi hands down. He made full use of three big advantages. First, he is a politician who has risen through a democratic system, with all the skills getting elected requires,- street smart ,taking on his opponents ruthlessly , setting aside all the trappings of good manners taught at Doon or Mayo,and a passion which allows him to to flaunt emotions in public. He and Mr Obama greet each other with bear hugs. It is hard to imagine Mr Xi in such a clinch, or weeping as Mr Modi did when, in a public forum he told Mark Zuckerberg, about his mother. Second, Mr Modi enjoys the support of a large and influential community of Indian-Americans, enthusiastic lobbyists for India.There is no doubt that some of our finest men ,women and children are in America .Nadella ,Pichai ,Indra Nooyi and many others are powerful voices . They line up for Modi . It is almost impossible to imagine Mr Xi working similar crowds of Chinese-Americans. And lastly the more China appears a threat to American interests, the more important India appears as a counterbalance. The bigger the worries about China’s economy, the more hopes are invested in India’s.It is this grasp of reality that Modi has succeeded in tapping and highlighting .And herein lies the success story of Indias Foreign Policy under him .!!India beat China to it .

As for Pakistan – Kishore das song sums it up aptly
“Yeh kya hua,Kaise hua,Kab hua
Ab Kya Sunaye” .

Sandhya Goes Away -The Tide Recedes !!

“The most amazing thing to me about the sea is the tide. A harbour is totally transformed in a very short space of time by the arrival or departure of the sea.”
John Dyer

Today the tide that arrived - has departed .Yes Sandhya Awasthi came to Dubai like a tide ,at a time when we were struggling with the pangs of homesickness . In those days ,the harbor looked monotonous and no matter where we would go to –malls ,restaurants ,offices – it was always a harbor far away from our home.Our boat had refused to anchor in it .The Arabian Sea and the Persian Gulf reminded us that we could not catch a bus ,a taxi or walk back to our home .Our home was far away .There were lots of people here in Dubai –but we had no friends .
But Sandhya came in like the tide .She brought in the waves as if from far away India and along with it the sounds that reminded us of home .She talked the same language and she cooked the same kind of food .She loved dogs .And like us she was, typically middle class with the same value systems and aspirations .
We went out together , everywhere .We frequented restaurants and ate our favourite dishes .We shopped at Malls .We used each others cars .We stayed just 20 minutes from each others places –she in upmarket Jumeirah in a beautiful apartment and we in a equally upmarket locality of Springs .Everyday (more or less) we would meet each other –me maybe not so often because I am in the habit of writing and watching TV !!- But my wife Sangeeta – I doubt whether a day passed without them meeting each other .
When we went to India for a summer break –she moved into our house and looked after Laila and Sneezy.They became lifelong friends with her and her husband Anil who like her also became a part of the family.
She was there on the day of the inauguration of our school .She was there for our First Winter Carnival .She was there for our birthdays .She was there for our 25th wedding anniversary .We visited the temple and the gurudwara here in Dubai together several times .
Whenver she went to India ,she always came back with knickknacks .She brought a Fabindia after shave on on one occasion and ,Rajdeep Sardesais book on another . Anil brought Liptons Green Label Darjeeling tea( which i get at double the rate here) –enough to last me for 6 months . Last week when she came back to finally go back ,she presented me with Vinod Mehtas book “ Lucknow Boy”!
She must be on the plane back to India as i write. Apart from the bags she is carrying away –she is also taking away a part of our lives with her .
But life goes on .As the tide recedes –it takes along with it a lot of memories .And all of a sudden ,the Arabian Sea and the Persian Gulf seem foreboding and India seems very very distant .Thank you Sandhya for coming to Dubai as a part of Gods mission .As Terry Jacks sang
“We had joy, we had fun ,
We had seasons in the sun ,
But the Spring and the wine ,
Are like seasons out of time “

Thank you for the joy and fun ,and seasons in the sun .But clearly the wine that I sip today and in future and and the winter that I await are out of time !!Without you here in Dubai!!

What Makes A Great Teacher

Today is teachers day . Happy Teachers Day to all the teachers .The day is  celebrated in honour of a great scholar and teacher and a former President of India - Shri S Radhakrishanan .Its a honor well deserved -he was a great teacher .I still remember my father very copiously reading his speeches and explaining them to us .My father did not appear to be a very voracious reader because i did not see him read too many books -he was perhaps too busy treating patients and performing surgery becoz he was a much sought after doctor .So when he bent over newspapers and strained his ears to listen to the great man speak on radio -it meant something !! ( the only other books he recommended me to read were Daphne du Mauriers's .(Rebecca ,Jamaica Inn and the other classics written by the great lady).Once i read Rebecca -i was hooked on to reading .And i read lots and lots .My father in that sense was a great teacher -he inspired me and recommended me something which set forth a chain of events that ultimately set me to indulge in a activity which was priceless .!!

Most of us will go overboard today .The day is dedicated to the greatness of Radhakrishnan .Most of us are no where near him as far as teaching and scholarship is concerned .He is a benchmark .Children spoil us rotten today -they will bring cards ,cakes ,hand made drawings ,they will sing paeans about us !! And we will lap it all up .None of us should mind the praise-we all love praise dont we .Even at my age ,after getting fair amount of compliments throughout my life -i want more !! But should we believe blindly what the kids tell us ? No - false praise can be damaging to ones growth .There have been great teachers who taught me .All of them had a great passion , great personalities ,and great energy .A scholar may not not be a great teacher .Having knowledge and transferring it are different things .But energy ,personality , and passion are certainly very important trademarks of great teachers .Mr GC Gupta had great energy .Prof Randhir Singh had a great personality , great energy and passion . APJ Kalam had great energy and passion .Mr HP Sharma had great passion and energy .Forget the Bed and other degrees .They count for very little ..Do we have energy , personalities , and passion ?.
Thats a question which only a teacher can answer.If the answer is "yes" ,then you are in hallowed company and a great teacher . If the answer is "no" -keep trying because your benchmark is not a "day" but a person.
I was asked to speak in the special assembly in school yesterday .I was presented a big bouquet and a big big card on the stage .Every Principal and teacher must have got such tokens of affection in their schools .But a question kept nagging me while i spoke .Why do so few people want to come into the teaching profession ?
I ended my speech by expressing a wish -that maybe in the future ,a better gift to give teachers would be children telling them that they all wanted to be teachers !! A far better compliment than a bouquet and a card .And of course lots of samosas ,dhoklas ,gulab jamuns .
But we love praise .Let it keep coming !!And thank you very very much for the wonderful wishes that have not stopped flowing in !!

Principals Must Get Real In India .

As a Principal , I was terrible at networking through the phone .In 99 percent of the cases I got a bad press because I just did not know how to please a set of people I had no respect for . I was not too successful in pleasing the managements at most times .But yet I was a fairly successful Principal I would say .And certainly not a disaster .
I was very clear about certain things .I was certain that the only way for children to climb the socioeconomic ladder and find secure work was to take an examination. These examinations required a thorough command of knowledge, and taking them was a grueling rite .The systems I created were all geared to promote excellence in in taking exams and scoring well .Not for me –sending children to China ,Brazil ,NASA ,Singapore etc . And having 6 inter class dance and other activities per day !! All that could wait .Foreign trips don’t get you into St Stephens , Hansraj ,LSR or Shriram College !!.Marks do .
I knew that students would be under enormous, unrelenting pressure to perform. Talent is not a consideration — because the culture believes in hard work and diligence and above all, there is no excuse for failure. Children have to study year-round, both in-school and with tutors in extra classes .I believed - if you study hard enough, you can be smart enough.
I was also convinced that it’s a question of short-term unhappiness and long-term happiness.Dont fall for this “jargon” that “oh my child is very happy in school” .The chances are that he could be unhappy in life if he does not perform in a country like India . It’s not just the parents pressuring their kids. Because this culture traditionally celebrates conformity and order, pressure from other students can also heighten performance expectations. The class sizes are very large — which would be extremely undesirable for, say, an American parent. But in India , the goal is for the teacher to lead the class as a community, and for peer relationships to develop. In American preschools, the focus for teachers is on developing individual relationships with students, and intervening regularly in peer relationships.
I know that there are better and worse way to educate our children. At the same time, if I had to choose between an average US /UK , education and an average Indian education for my own kid, I would choose, very reluctantly, Indian model. The reality is, in the modern world the kid is going to have to know how to learn, how to work hard and how to persist after failure. My Indian model teaches that.And Principals who are indecisive and trying to mix and match the two models are in my favourite phrase –running with the hare and hunting with the hound !!!.

Principals Needed -Not Che Gueras !!!!

Being a Principal of premier schools in India (and may I add abroad as well!), has exposed me to some extraordinary human beings ,with very different mind sets than mine .Principals as a class of people are highly self opinionated. They believe that they are always right .The quicker they get out of this fantasy and dream world –the better they will be as Principals .There are some very basic things a Principal must adhere to .First and foremost is to avoid being a rebel .There are no Che Gueveras in education .Its impractical to have them .Managements and Prncipals will differ in their objectives .The management will always look at the revenues( and rightly so ) –the Principal will look at academic excellence .Thats the only thing that will save his skin in a very complicated social activity like education .In schools there are children whose parents are buruacrats .politicians ,policemen ,income tax officials ,land and liquor mafias etc.He is answerable to them .He has to manage them .The pressures on him are enormous –to conform to a system that is far removed from the idealism of the books .The Principal cannot take on the management and ignore what is a different perception altogeather .Here is where communication skills could help .If you are a good communicator ,then perhaps you can change a degree here or there about how your boss thinks .But by and large –you have to deliver .Admissions must keep happening .It brings in the money .Excellence get you the admissions ,but sometimes you have to admit some children who are not so excellent .Its a catch 22 situation .It is tightrope walking .And a excellent Principal is a trapeze artist !!
Forget about “revolutions” in schools .Thats alright when we used to sip coffee at the Indian Coffee House while we were in college . Concentrate on what you can do which does not cross anyone elses path .Do the things that only you can and are authorized to do .Make sure that there is conformity to the rules of the school.Make sure that what your expectations are from the teachers are clearly spelt out in terms of tangibles .Dont use too many adjectives –“ I want the result in English to be good .” – instead say “ I want the average aggregate of English this year to be 85 percent .Last year it was 82” .Make sure teachers are going to classes in time .Make sure that teachers are improving their skills .Motivate them -teach them .They may know more than you ,but you have more experience .Experience cant be learnt or bought -one acquires it with age .Avoid having sycophants –oh they are such a spineless and despicable lot. Make sure you are in charge of the situations .Are the school kids coming in uniform ? If yes ,they respect the rules of the school ,if no the school has a problem of non compliance .Get these kind of things in place and the chances are you will make a excellent Principal .
In short –avoid being a Arvind Kejriwal .Be a Amitabh Bacchan who respects what a Director tells him ,but does his part of acting ( which only he can do ), to perfection .Thats why he has lasted so long and made such a huge impact !! Principals who are rolling stones make the least impact .Longevity is the hall mark of a good Principal .!!

( The above views are personal .I am sure every Principal has his /her view about how a Principal should manage their schools .I respect their views ! I have at best been a very average Principal .)