Why do i write and when do i write ? And how much of time do i spend on writing?
All are simple questions to answer .I write for myself .I write to please myself. I dont write to make money or to get fame.I write because i would like to read what i did , or what i am doing when i am old.If some of you like what i write - its very nice .But i wouldnt stop writing if you did not like reading what i write , or i would not write something what you would like and which I did not like.
I started writing when i stopped teaching. I stopped teaching when my energy levels could not keep up with what my teaching style demanded. Teaching at one level is a physical act - one has to walk , talk , argue , articulate , entertain. Thats why some of us move from teaching to administration as we get older .The energy just slips away- very stealthily.
Writing on the other hand, is more a mental task .One can lie down and write , or one can write sitting on a chair or a bed. Hemingway wrote while standing !!One can write when one has a cough, fever and cold as i am having right now. One can write at any time of the day, evening or night .There is no time to write as such.
Perhaps ,like everyone else , I need to express myself .I got the platform to express myself when i was young, in the form of debating and teaching. Now i use writing as a medium to offload the "real me" !!.What I speak may not be always the way I feel (for example praising celebrities and bosses !).But what I write is 100 percent what I feel. Otherwise I wouldn’t write.I also do not share everything I write – because many of us live lives we cant dare to be open about.I write what I feel may or should not offend or “scandalize”, the majority
It does not take me more than 30 minutes to write about 1500 words. Maybe i am a good writer – because i dont seem to struggle to find words or ideas to write( in much the same way as when I speak ) .I have read a lot - so quotes and ideas of others are fresh in my mind.My memory is good – and I can compare events of the present with the past. I mix them up and relate them to my experiences in life .
I prefer writing at night when my train of thoughts is least likely to be broken. Sometimes I cry when I write – when I write obituaries of close friends and pets.I have seldom laughed while writing – humour hardly finds any space in my writings.It does not come naturally to me.
I used to write a lot on politics - till i realized that, essentially i am not a political animal. I understand politics very well because i have been a student of politics and history - but i have never taken part in a election as a candidate at any level , and neither do i regret not having done so! Politics is something i would not like to reflect upon when my walk back to the pavilion starts ( which i suspect has already begun ).Politics does not tickle my mind – I know why and how politicians behave – they are so predictable( that’s why Donald Trump interests me – he is so unpredictable).There is no mystique to them.
I love cricket and tennis and i love history - and i write a lot about them .I have written a lot about travel and food .I have written a lot about loss of ones who I admired , loved and learnt from .I love human relationships and have written a lot about them as well - though some are personal and hence still in the closet .Some of these relationships have been beautiful, some sour( not gender specific by the way).Some deal with men , some women , some with my bosses , some with people i was entrusted to lead .I dont want to forget them and don’t want to make them public at the moment .But i have captured them honestly in my writings.
For example here is a excerpt from a blog which i wrote many years back but which was shared with a select group. I quote from the blog
" She presented me a book titled "Lucky Girls" , which is one of my most prized possessions.
“Why did you spend money on a book written by a author i havent even heard of "? I asked .
She just smiled , said nothing and left. The moment passed as we chatted.
After she left ,I casually flipped the cover to read the foreword of the book .Neatly written in pencil was the sentence
" May all lucky girls come to you .From one of them".
It meant so much.It spoke so much.At the same time it suppressed so much.
Only if one writes - can one express so much in such few words .
Many years later I met her again and invited her for a cup of coffee and snacks in a upscale restaurant .I carried a book with me as a return gift for her.A small slim book.One of my favourites .The name of the book - “One day in the life of Ivan Denosovich”, written by Alexander Solzhenitsyn.She looked at it , opened it ,and remarked
"How impersonal.At least write something in it"
I asked the steward for a pencil ,wore my spectacles ,and after thinking for a while, wrote
“ I have known you from the 80s to now.The feelings haven’t changed-
Tum koh dekhaa toh ek khayaal aaya ,
lekin aaj phir dil koh humne samjhaayaah”! Unquote
I still have the book she presented me - though i have lost track of her.But the moment was captured for eternity .!!
I continue to write!!!The written word conveys so much more than the spoken word .Always. And is eternal.
